School Days and An Earth Shaking Gender Reveal: ODO 201
I’m feeling a little silly this week. I don’t know why, but I was just in a giggly mood through this whole episode. Maybe it was the long night. Maybe it was the instant coffee at 3 am. I was just in a goofy mood. So try as I might to talk about the boys going back to on-campus school, I just tangented all over the place. Badass grilled cheese, sibling rivalry, Queen Elizabeth, and other random brain farts. As well as a return of “BS From the News” with a pirate Airbnb, a divorce over penis size, and another catastrophic gender reveal. Enjoy!
BS From The News
There is an Airbnb listing for a pirate ship that sits along the Mississippi River. It includes 2 bedrooms, 2 marine bathrooms (super limited,) and a hammock. It sleeps 6 people.
I’m not gonna lie. I would totally be ok with staying on this boat. It’s just plain old cool.
A woman in Nigeria has petitioned her local Sharia court to dissolve her marriage after only one week citing her new husband’s extreme penis size as the primary reason. She claims, in court deposition, that his member was so large that it was extremely painful for her to have sex with him in any way.
On one hand, I feel bad for the woman because this is her second marriage and she has 3 kids and will not be able to be with someone she chose to marry. Physical intimacy is an important part of marriage, and it seems that this particular issue may be a problem for both of them. At the same time, if I had divorce papers saying my wife left me because my dick was too big, I would probably have them framed on my office wall. Just saying…
Jackass Of The Week
A New Hampshire family decided to announce the gender of their upcoming child by setting off 80 pounds of explosive tannerite. The family held the celebration in a local quarry, as they felt it would be the safest place. The explosion shook walls in buildings in the next town over, sparking reports of an earthquake by locals.
I’m sorry. Can we just stop with the gender reveal parties? We are barely a year separated from the California wildfires that were sparked from an explosive gender reveal. But environmental disasters aside, it’s just a waste of money. Kids are expensive. I know. I have four of them. And I cannot imagine wasting money on announcing whether or not they have a penis. You’ve got too much other stuff to buy. There’s diapers, and clothes, and car seats, and diapers, and bottles, and diapers, and diapers, and diapers… So let’s just all agree to knock off the gender reveal bullshit, and spend that money on some diapers, and maybe a box of novelty cigars.