“Dirty Bits” of Addictive Candy: ODO 136
Just when I think I’ve escaped the most addictive candy based mobile game in history, my wife just has to pull me back in. But that’s not all. I’ve also got a few words to say about Peeps as well. In the news I have an ironic fire and another repeat offender. It’s the return of Martina Big in the Jackass of the Week. Finally, after what has got to be the longest wait of any planned feature, this week I am talking all about “The Dirty Bits Podcast.”
Curse You Candy Crush!
You all remember Candy Crush, right? That highly addictive mobile game where you have to match up little candies and other such stuff. Recently I discovered that my wife still plays it. This would be perfectly fine if she hadn’t gotten stuck on a level and asked me to help her through it. Now my dumb ass has gone and downloaded it to my phone because, like I said, highly addictive.
And Then There Were The Peeps
When I was a kid, Peeps came in 2 flavors: yellow and pink. And guess what, they both just tasted like sugar coated marshmallows. That’s because that’s what they are. But this week I was at the grocery store and found not only a wide assortment of colors and shapes of Peeps. They now have flavors. What the actual hell?! Peeps don’t need flavors, especially sour watermelon or (hold on I’m trying not to gag) pancakes and syrup! On top of that, they now have Peeps Oreos and coffee creamer and who knows what else. Leave the Peeps alone!
BS From The News
A 3 alarm fire in St. Louis destroyed a warehouse that was home to a company specializing in the cleanup and restoration of flood, fire, and smoke damage. Although it’s not funny in the typical sense. You have to laugh at the irony.
“Trans-Racial” German Couple Believe Their Children Will Be Black
Martina Big and her husband, both born white Germans, gained attention a few years back for getting melanin injections to darken their skin. They eventually went to Kenya to get baptized as “true Africans.” Now they claim that their children will be born black because, you know, getting hormone shots changes your DNA.
The Dirty Bits
The Dirty Bits Podcast is performed by Tawny Platis, a professional voice actor, who gives a casual -and hopefully comical- southern Californian retelling of the sexy, scandalous, and salacious stories from history your teacher probably left out. Whether it’s Hans Christian Andersen’s masturbation obsession, Jack Parsons bizarre mixture of NASA, the Occult, and Scientology, or Catherine the Great’s chairs embellished with phallic symbols, we’re totes about to dive in on the Dirty Bits and learn how the sexual drives of those who came before us shaped our world.
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