random rambling

Here’s the thing about writing… You have to actually do it. I think about writing blog posts all the time to get out some of my more ranty ideas. Since I changed my show around to more news/ comedy oriented, there’s less of a place for me just rambling about a thing. But of course, because I’m me, I never manage to put these thoughts down somewhere. I have some rather complex thoughts that I think all the way out and really just need to expel out into the universe. But alas, I never manage to type them out or share them beyond the voices in my head.

I want to write. I don’t really know what to write beyond just getting things out of my head. Originally that’s what my whole podcast was. I would just talk and get things out of my head. The thing about that is that I didn’t always have a thing to talk about. One of the most important things about having a podcast really is some sort of consistency. Maybe that’s where I went wrong in that. I made it a point to have a schedule and a consistency, but that doesn’t really work when the topic is just whatever is happening in my head. I will admit that I had more people listen to know what craziness happened in my head than listen to me talk shit about weird news stories. Therein lies the dilemma. I enjoy producing my podcast. I enjoy sharing weird news crap and making fun of it. I enjoy the simple act of sitting down with my microphone and talking to whoever is out there crazy enough to listen to me. But that sort of show is more pressure to produce. It requires research and prep and planning. Those parts are time consuming and kind of stressful to maintain.

Should I have some sort of master plan? Probably. Should I designate time for prep and research and planning? Definitely! I should also probably put more effort into promoting the show beyond social media posts. Unfortunately, I have this pesky little thing called a family to contend with. I’m not saying my family is in the way of the show. What I am saying is that I can’t take time away from being a full time/ daytime stay at home dad to promote my podcast. There are plenty of people who are parents, who work full time, that also have podcasts. The primary difference between them and I is the schedule they live on. Most all of these people work normal jobs in the day and stay up late to work on their podcasts after the kids have gone to bed. In my case, I stay home with my boys during the day, and work full time graveyards. The free time I have in daylight hours must be committed to sleep. Up til this point I’ve sacrificed my personal sleep in order to produce my show. That isn’t sustainable, not even for health reasons because that’s never stopped me before, but because I have numerous household responsibilities as the parent that is home during the day. Children must be fed, laundry must be done, the yard must be mowed. All of these things a daytime dependent, and those are my tightest hours already.

Where am I going with this? I don’t know. That’s just how my brain works. Pull the string and watch the monkey drive the train off the cliff. That’s me. Even this odd rant has taken multiple twists and turns from the original thought and is ultimately nowhere near where it started. But in all honesty, if I could keep a single focused thought for more than 10 minutes without deviating somehow, I would probably actually be a writer.