This week, I had a very upsetting encounter at work with what can only be described as a bully. A great big gorilla looking guy decided that he wanted to cuss me out and push me around for being professional and doing my job. Unfortunately I’m just not a very intimidating looking person and I’ve kinda been pushed around for most of my life. As much as I wanted to cuss him out in return, my professionalism beat out my temper.
Long story short, while I was at a job site this week, a guy came up to the front of the building saying he needed to get in to drop something at one of the offices. He said he worked in a neighboring office but his badge did not work for this side of the building. Of course, for security reasons, I can’t just let somebody into the building that I don’t know. I explained that to him and told him that I could take his envelope to the office he needed and drop it off for him. This then turned into him insisting that he come along.I told him I couldn’t let him in the building so he began cussing at me and repeatedly giving me the old poke in the shoulder like he’s tougher than me and I need to get out of his way. Eventually the building janitors, who had been witnessing his increasing aggression, escorted him to where he wanted, but not without him throwing me one more “fuck you” for good measure.
I hate bullies. To be fair, I think everybody does. But it’s strange having this sort of thing happen as an adult. I’m a scrawny 6 foot 140 lbs guy with thick glasses and a ponytail. I am not an intimidating presence. That being said, I’ve had little real “bullying” experience in my life. I had an incident in kindergarten that I can remember, but for the most part that’s it. I don’t really consider bitchy people in restaurants wanting to yell at the manager (which would be me,) bullying. That is just general human idiot rage. Honestly I can’t believe there are still grown adults who would treat a complete stranger with such disrespect and hostility for simply doing my job. Maybe it’s because I have very limited adult social interaction. Maybe it’s because I try to avoid hostile situations. I don’t know really. What I do know is that this guy is a piece of shit and should be glad that I didn’t file a police report on him.
Should I have pushed back? Maybe. Would it have ended well? Absolutely not. Like the song says, ” you gotta know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.” This was time to fold ’em. Only things that would come from me pushing back with this guy were an ass whoopin for me and losing my job. Neither option is to my benefit. Personally I would have loved to clock this guy for his utter disrespect. Rage monster inside would want to stab him in the throat. Of course that’s what “anger management” is for. Logic brain says stay professional but firm, so I did, because that is what the situation required. Sometimes that’s just what you have to do.
There are absolutely cases where you have to fight back. If you are in a constant abusive situation, you have to do something about it. It doesn’t matter if it’s domestic abuse, workplace aggression, or cyber bullying, you have to stand up and report it to whoever you can. If it’s the police, parents, teachers, supervisors, neighbors, somebody has to be told so that you can escape the abuse. Nobody should be bullied for any reason. Why, then, did I not stand up to this guy? Simply put, I’m never gonna see this guy again. This was a one-off incident that will not be repeated. If I ever run into this guy in a similar fashion again, I’ll absolutely report his ass. Buy for today it’s in the past. I’m still a scrawny twig nerd guy, and he’s still a piece of shit gorilla asshole. But I’m the bigger man.