Recently the show has taken a wide turn from where it originally began. This week I bring things back with a good old fashioned chatting train of thought. I talk about why I took a break for a few weeks, some thoughts on the recent Presidential election, and some podcasts I’ve gotten into recently.
This week was Labor Day in the US. I mention it being in the US because apparently I’m actually more popular overseas than I am at home. Just kidding, I’m not popular anywhere. But anyway, it was Labor day on Monday, a day where we honor the blue collar working man by giving all the white collar guys the day off. I actually didn’t have work on Labor Day. This is partially because I work for a relatively small company, and our boss is cool like that. But mostly it’s because I don’t work on Mondays anyway. “Happy Labor Day! Enjoy your regular day off.” I’m kidding, kinda. I get holiday pay for this shit. Who am I to bitch?
Now I maybe possibly have previously mentioned before, and by “maybe possibly” I mean I’ve bludgeoned you over the head repeatedly with the fact, that I work overnights. Well, when you have a federal holiday come up like we just had, and your boss decides to give everyone the day off, that work still has to get done somewhere. So the end of my last week was a motherfucker of a bitch. I’m talking 10-11 hour shifts with 3 man crews, multiple mechanical issues with my work vehicles… (RIP van 13) and just generally stress city. So Friday night I end up not getting out of work until about 5am. And for those of you who want to nit-pick, yes I know that’s Saturday morning. And, like I’ve oh so subtly mentioned, I live fucking far from my office. This means I got home around 6am to a big fat “I told you so” from my wife. To cap it off, I had to be back at the office at noon to do a job 2 hours away. Obviously I didn’t exactly have the best sleep going into that work night. I was downing so much caffeine on that drive I’m pretty sure I saw a mosquito have a seizure. After all that I ended up getting back home just before midnight, which any other day would feel great. But after the pre-weekend I’d just worked, I was surprised I survived the drive home.
Of course since my wife was sitting on a 3-day weekend, we had to make use of the time. We had a whole list of things we needed to get done: We had to buy groceries, fix the baby’s crib, clean up the back yard, I needed to finally fix that clogged toilet in the hall bathroom… Never mind that there was still the feeding and caring for the 4 small life forms that share our house. And out of all the things we had to do this weekend, we did precisely DICK. I didn’t get a damn thing done for 2 whole days. Ok I went to the grocery store for milk and bread. Past that, I spent the majority of 2 days drifting from one nap to another. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like that I didn’t get anything done, but I was just plain old tired. I realize that pushed every single one of those honey-do’s to next weekend potentially, but what better way could I have possibly spent my Labor Day than laying on my couch doing absofuckinglutely nothing?
An 18 year old girl in Australia watched her car roll into a river after jumping out to swat away a huntsman spider. She was only able to half apply her parking brake before jumping out and saw her car slowly roll down a boat ramp and out of reach. I may not be afraid of spiders (much) but from my understanding of the size of the huntsman, I’d probably end up crashing into the river.
A middle school student shared a batch of Bhut Jolokia peppers with his classmates causing the school to call for EMT’s after they started to become sick. These were at one time considered the hottest chilies in the world. They are rated with an average heat level of over 1 million Scoville, which is, to say the least, really REALLY hot. In so many words, kids are dumb. Kids will eat anything, and peer pressure is a bitch.
I have learned that work trips are a great way to observe general human stupidity in action. Plus the 400 lb app in the room, we’re talking Pokemon Go. And in “BS From the News” we’ll learn probably the only thing in the way of poke-world domination, and just how bad one little typo can be.
Is this irony, or meta, or just a silly coincidence? I was listening to my buddy Mark from “What’s Happening With the NewMan” while I was on the road for work. In his last episode (#16 if you’re wondering) he not only mentions my last episode, but also that he was on his own road trip with his family while he was listening to it. On top of that he was also plagued with car troubles in a similar manner. Almost makes me feel like there’s a jinx on it or something. But hey, we survived, he survived, all is good.
Speaking of road trips for work, my job recently restarted doing overnight out of town jobs. This is good and bad. It means lots of hours because these are obviously jobs too far away for a day trip so I get paid for lots of driving. On the down side it means lots of driving and staying the night in a hotel with one of the other techs. And of course there’s the people at the hotels. Is it just me or do people’s brains turn off when they go on vacation. We stayed in Lake Havasu City, with lots of drunk people partying on the lake or at the pool until all hours. Then in the morning they still haven’t recovered the brain cells they fried the day before in time for breakfast. I sat down to breakfast at the hotel and watched the little old lady buffet attendant explain how to use the waffle iron to the same group of people 10 times in a row. The instructions are on the waffle iron, and they’re on the waffle batter, and the machine has a little arrow telling you to flip the thing over. Oh yeah, and the lady JUST SAID IT 10 TIMES ! I realize that these hot breakfast/ do it yourself waffle iron things a relatively new in the grand scheme of hotel life, but the instructions are right there, plastered on everything involved.
But enough about stupid people. I’ve gotta mention the latest app to wreck havoc on everybody’s data plans. Of course it’s Pokemon GO. This is the latest app to get everybody to devote every waking hour to their phones. The difference here is that this one has the backing of 20 years of poke legacy to draw everyone in. I’m not a fan, never have been, and I was actually in the target demographic when the original games came out. I understand how people can get sucked into a game like this. It gives you a goal to achieve, gotta catch them all. And you get a sense of excitement as you get closer to that goal by catching another one or evolving one or winning battles. I get it. But people just get way too obsessed with mobile apps. It has taken over everything. I’ve seen strip clubs promoting cold beer and rare pokemon inside. What about the naked girls? Isn’t that the entire point of your existence? The only plus side for me is that now that poke-memes are taking over the internet, all of the stupid minion memes are going away. But is this really a lesser of 2 evils situation?
According to a top Sunni Muslim official in Egypt, the obsessive nature of Pokemon GO leads people to neglect their jobs and lives in a similar way to alcohol, which is already prohibited by Islam. So I guess this makes Pokemon a sin. Nintendo must be pretty steamed that they can’t have any Sunni Muslim players. I guess they’ll just have to be happy having the entire rest of the world.
It seems that some people in Maine have a typo on their EBT cards that directs them not to their balance, but to a phone sex hotline. Apparently the phone number printed on the cards was off by one digit causing what has to be the most hilarious official typo ever.
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This week I give an update on what’s been going on with me for the past few weeks and share the harrowing tale of my recent family trek back across Texas. In BS From the News, I’ve got a story about some police trying to return somebody’s bag and a very “personal” dress.
What’s been going on with the Odd Dad Out
For those who don’t already know, I have minor scoliosis. Not the steel rod in my back kind, but the kind that can give me a decent amount of back pain. While editing the last episode, I actually threw my back out and was left out of work for most of a week. After a trip to The Joint, I was able to get back to work.
Shortly after the back incident, over the Independance Day weekend, we made the long trip back to Texas to pick up a car. On the way out to San Antonio, the a/c went out on my van. Although this was uncomfortable, we could just put the kids in the newer car, no problem. Unfortunately, about an hour into our return trip, the car began to overheat. barely making it halfway to our first stop, we stopped overnight and began anew on July 4th. After attempted fixes, and hours of driving slowly in 100+ degree heat, we eventually left the car with my wife’s friend and went home. We were on the road from 10am monday to just before 7 am tuesday, just in time for my wife to turn around to leave for work. Longest weekend ever.
Mark Newman hosts a lifestyle podcast with everything from kids, food, gardening and other random stuff the NewMan is up to. It may be spending a day fishing for tadpoles with the kids or a how-to on making your own meat pies. It’s always something different and honest from the NewMan, just don’t mention the price of carrots…
Subscribe and Rate on iTunes Android users try the Google Play Music App Follow me on Twitter @odddadout Support the “Odd Dad Out Podcast” and “Mom and Dad Cuss” at patreon.com/odddadout