ODO 61: Plastic Money and Playing Jesus

I’m a bit behind on prep this week so stories get pulled a little more on the fly. In Entertainment I’ve got the controversy around ABC cancelling “Last Man Standing” and the hackers trying to ransom the latest “Pirates” movie. Weird news brings a story about sex lessons from porn stars and getting “Winstoned.” The listener voted “Jackass of the Week” tells the tale of a pastor who died trying to walk on water, but with a twist.

-ENTERTAINMENT-

 

Many conservatives are claiming that Tim Allen’s comedy, “Last Man Standing” was cancelled as a result of his conservative political views and recent comments he made about being a Republican in Hollywood. ABC insists that the cancellation had to do with schedule changes and trying to cut costs from shows that they do not actually own.

A hacker groups has apparently acquired a copy of  “Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” and are threatening to leak it online if Disney doesn’t pay their ransom. As of showtime they have already begun releasing the film in small portions.

Jim Parsons, who plays Dr. Sheldon Cooper on “The Big Bang Theory,” and partner of 14 years, Scott Spiewak got married

-WEIRD SHIT FROM THE NEWS-

A couple of porn stars are helping older couples spice up their sex lives by teaching them some  more advanced sexual positions.

A high school cheerleader was arrested for filing a false police report after claiming robbers broke in to her room just to steal her cheer uniforms.

Cocaine Users Complain of  New £5 Note Cutting Noses When Snorting  

Drug users are complaining of getting “Winstoned” by the new plastic £5 notes while snorting cocaine. It appears the controversial new bills are cutting the insides of the “users'” noses.

-JACKASS OF THE WEEK-

While trying to recreate the Biblical miracle of Jesus walking on water, a pastor in Nigeria was eaten alive by crocodiles in the heavily croc-infested river.

ODO 28: Iguanas, and Black Bears, and Does, Oh My!

Iguanas, and Black Bears, and Does, Oh My!

     I swear I’m not sick all the time! This week I take the show in a new direction (again) and get back to the comedy foundation this show was intended to have. To that end I have opted to seek out strange news stories to pick on and ridicule for your amusement.
     Completely unintentionally, I have fallen into an animal theme this week. I’ve got courtroom iguanas, bears in marathons, and a killer deer. Of course none of this would be funny if somebody didn’t do something dumb. Enjoy!


-X-ray catches man trying to sneak iguana into courtroom
    A man in Boulder, CO was denied entry to a courtroom when security officials saw the skeletal outline of an iguana on the x-ray of his bag.

-Black Bear attacks woman running marathon in New Mexico
     A woman in northern New Mexico was attacked by a mother bear while running a marathon through a wildlife preserve.
-Ohio Woman ‘Prisoner’ in Own Home Due to Deer Attacks
     A woman in Ohio has contacted local Fish and Game authorities claiming she is being held prisoner in her own home by a doe that has attacked her while walking her dogs.

Is it just me or are people slowly becoming dumber than the animals we are supposed to be superior to? Whether it is somebody attacked in a zoo exhibit or in a pond in Florida, it all amounts to ignorance and negligence on the part of the human. Animals are being animals. People are supposed to know better. They are not called wild animals for nothing. The inevitable conclusion is that we are slowly de-evolving until the animals take over and we have something akin to a “Babar” or “Planet of the Apes” situation. Or I could just be “poking the bear”

  

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