ODO 108

ODO 108: Kinder Grads, Car Trouble, and Conspiracies

So last week was super busy. Between Kindergarten graduation, my brother in town, and other family events, I just didn’t have time to record a new episode. It was fun but busy. Aaannnd then Saturday night hit, and my weekend turned from great to crap on a dime. In the news I’ve got a 15 minute marriage, skipping work to be a god, and some very adult puppets getting in trouble with their friendlier cousins. The Jackass of the Week goes to a plastic surgeon who needs to spend some time behind bars instead of in front of a camera. Finally in Recommended Listening, it’s time to get our conspiracy on with Hysteria 51.

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ODO 49: I Suck at Valentine’s

I Suck at Valentine’s

Valentine’s Day is here so I’ve committed to focusing the entire episode on the holiday. The problem with that is, in a very general way, I’m no good at Valentine’s.

It’s not that I am not romantic. The problem comes mostly in that I’m too practical. I dislike giving flowers because they barely last a few days before dying. Chocolate seems very impersonal. There’s a million different heart shaped boxes of candy out there, and everybody has particulars about box chocolates. Don’t believe me, just look at any variety box of candy after a couple days. You’ll find a lot of the same things left behind. 
Ultimately my failure boils down to a simple fact: I’m not that creative about gifts and the good ones are STUPID expensive. 

VALENTINE NEWS

Pokémon GO is keeping up its habit of introducing holiday themed updates with a Valentine’s Day event. To celebrate Valentine’s Day, Pokémon GO ‘s first in-game event of 2017 began February 8 at 7pm and ends at February 15 at 7pm. Among the features are increased candy and the spawning of more “Pink” pokemon.

A Henryetta, Oklahoma shop tried to hold a Valentine’s Day dance to raise money for renovations. Unfortunately, the town has a city ordinance that prohibits dancing within 500 feet of a church. Guess who the neighbors are…

Somebody decided it would be funny to make a Hitler themed Valentine’s card and hand it out at a school function. The school has said that this was, obviously, not a sanctioned incident



Recommended Listening

darkangelsandprettyfreaks.com

Married couple, Annaleis and Neil C live together in Northern California with their pets and egos. Both have a wide variety of interests including animal welfare, video games, comic books, reading, music, Jamaica, podcasting, travel, NASCAR, and other crap. These two started podcasting because they couldn’t seem to get enough of their own voices. Hearing the beautiful sounds made by their mouths, they were inspired to allow everyone to experience the joy, so they began sharing their sweet vocal love with the masses…

Don’t let the name and logo fool you. This is, at its most basic, a couple’s comedy show. Their theme song says it perfectly, “They only talk about themselves, I figure I’d warn ya.” Honestly, I’m ok with that. These two may just sit around talking about “whatever” as a couple, but it works because they’re funny. Considering we do a similar thing on “Mom and Dad Cuss” how could I really have a problem with it. You can’t fake the authenticity of a married couple picking on each other and fighting with the dog’s chew toys. It’s like hanging out with your cool married friends every week.

ODO 49: I Suck at Valentines

Valentine’s Day is here so I’ve committed to focusing the entire episode on the holiday. The problem with that is, in a very general way, I’m no good at Valentine’s.
It’s not that I am not romantic. The problem comes mostly in that I’m too practical. I dislike giving flowers because they barely last a few days before dying. Chocolate seems very impersonal. There’s a million different heart shaped boxes of candy out there, and everybody has particulars about box chocolates. Don’t believe me, just look at any variety box of candy after a couple days. You’ll find a lot of the same things left behind.
Ultimately my failure boils down to a simple fact: I’m not that creative about gifts and the good ones are STUPID expensive.

VALENTINE NEWS

Pokemon GO has special Valentine’s Day update
Pokémon GO is keeping up its habit of introducing holiday themed updates with a Valentine’s Day event. To celebrate Valentine’s Day, Pokémon GO ‘s first in-game event of 2017 began February 8 at 7pm and ends at February 15 at 7pm. Among the features are increased candy and the spawning of more “Pink” pokemon.

Oklahoma town to cancel Valentine’s Day dance due to anti-dancing law
A Henryetta, Oklahoma shop tried to hold a Valentine’s Day dance to raise money for renovations. Unfortunately, the town has a city ordinance that prohibits dancing within 500 feet of a church. Guess who the neighbors are…

Central Michigan University apologizes for Hitler Valentine’s Day card
Somebody decided it would be funny to make a Hitler themed Valentine’s card and hand it out at a school function. The school has said that this was, obviously, not a sanctioned incident

Recommended Listening

Dark Angels and Pretty Freaks
http://darkangelsandprettyfreaks.com/

Married couple, Annaleis and Neil C live together in Northern California with their pets and egos. Both have a wide variety of interests including animal welfare, video games, comic books, reading, music, Jamaica, podcasting, travel, NASCAR, and other crap. These two started podcasting because they couldn’t seem to get enough of their own voices. Hearing the beautiful sounds made by their mouths, they were inspired to allow everyone to experience the joy, so they began sharing their sweet vocal love with the masses…

Don’t let the name and logo fool you. This is, at its most basic, a couple’s comedy show. Their theme song says it perfectly, “They only talk about themselves, I figure I’d warn ya.” Honestly, I’m ok with that. These two may just sit around talking about “whatever” as a couple, but it works because they’re funny. Considering we do a similar thing on “Mom and Dad Cuss” how could I really have a problem with it. You can’t fake the authenticity of a married couple picking on each other and fighting with the dog’s chew toys. It’s like hanging out with your cool married friends every week.

http://odddadout.blogspot.com/

http://darkangelsandprettyfreaks.com/

ODO 32: Poké of Shame

 

Poké of Shame

     This week I have a shameful confession to make. Then I take a moment to geek out about all the new superhero stuff going on. And, in BS From the News we learn why you shouldn’t leave your dogs in your car and we meet a noblewoman with an interesting pest problem. Plus I give an update on building my podcast network, and I need your help.

     I have a painful confession this week. I have started playing Pokémon Go. Now before you call me out on my acknowledged semi-hypocrisy, a caveat to this confession. My wife downloaded the game to my phone and logged in to her account so I could help her at night while I’m working. So technically I’m not playing, I’m just a co-pilot to my wife.

    Since I’ve already jumped down the nerd rabbit hole, I might as well go all in. Last week I mentioned that San Diego Comic-Con just passed. Since I was bitching about the idiocy of holding a multi-million dollar party to toot your own horn on a nation scale, I didn’t really talk about it. But honestly, outside of the show, it’s almost all I’ve been able to talk about. Between the new Justice League teaser, the first trailer for Wonder Woman, and the mass of comic TV news I’ve been super excited about the upcoming superhero landscape. At the same time, the early reviews for Suicide Squad have been less than favorable. This sucks because I was really looking forward to this movie. (Full disclosure: I haven’t seen a new super hero movie since The Winter Soldier. Hard to do with a house full of kids and a wife that doesn’t like comic movies.)

Bullshit From the News

     A woman in Wayne, West Virginia left her two little dogs in her car with the engine running outside of a Walmart. Somehow the dogs managed to put the car in gear and slowly crashed it into the side of the building. Now, as a resident of Arizona, it is HIGHLY illegal to leave your animals in your car here. I don’t think this is anywhere near why those laws were written. 
     An 81 year old British Viscountess has requested permission to use a machine gun to exterminate the badger population on her estate. She claims that badgers have been eating her lambs for years. Not wanting to get too into the political issue of badger culling in the UK, doesn’t this just sound like a weird arcade game? This sounds like something they install in the game room at the senior center. Come play “Badger Busters.” Stop those pesky badgers from making off with your lambs using your trusty AK-47.

Odd Dad Out News

     I’m starting to make moves towards building up the Odd Dad Out podcast network. Along with ODO and Mom and Dad Cuss, there’s also What’s Happening With the NewMan that will be part of things once it all kicks off in full.
But, since I can’t leave well enough alone, I have one more show that I want to produce that I will need some input to get off the ground. I am intending to produce a podcast about ghost stories. But to do that I need stories. Whether it is your favorite campfire story, a story from your childhood, or maybe something you personally experienced, I wanna hear it. I want to share these stories, and maybe give a new group of people a little fright. If you have a spooky story that you would like to share, email it to odddadout@gmail.com.   

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ODO 30 I Choose You, Or Not

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I Choose You, Or Not…

     I have learned that work trips are a great way to observe general human stupidity in action. Plus the 400 lb app in the room, we’re talking Pokemon Go. And in “BS From the News” we’ll learn probably the only thing in the way of poke-world domination, and just how bad one little typo can be.

     Is this irony, or meta, or just a silly coincidence? I was listening to my buddy Mark from “What’s Happening With the NewMan” while I was on the road for work. In his last episode (#16 if you’re wondering) he not only mentions my last episode, but also that he was on his own road trip with his family while he was listening to it. On top of that he was also plagued with car troubles in a similar manner. Almost makes me feel like there’s a jinx on it or something. But hey, we survived, he survived, all is good.
     Speaking of road trips for work, my job recently restarted doing overnight out of town jobs. This is good and bad. It means lots of hours because these are obviously jobs too far away for a day trip so I get paid for lots of driving. On the down side it means lots of driving and staying the night in a hotel with one of the other techs. And of course there’s the people at the hotels. Is it just me or do people’s brains turn off when they go on vacation. We stayed in Lake Havasu City, with lots of drunk people partying on the lake or at the pool until all hours. Then in the morning they still haven’t recovered the brain cells they fried the day before in time for breakfast. I sat down to breakfast at the hotel and watched the little old lady buffet attendant explain how to use the waffle iron to the same group of people 10 times in a row. The instructions are on the waffle iron, and they’re on the waffle batter, and the machine has a little arrow telling you to flip the thing over. Oh yeah, and the lady JUST SAID IT 10 TIMES ! I realize that these hot breakfast/ do it yourself waffle iron things a relatively new in the grand scheme of hotel life, but the instructions are right there, plastered on everything involved.
     But enough about stupid people. I’ve gotta mention the latest app to wreck havoc on everybody’s data plans. Of course it’s Pokemon GO. This is the latest app to get everybody to devote every waking hour to their phones. The difference here is that this one has the backing of 20 years of poke legacy to draw everyone in. I’m not a fan, never have been, and I was actually in the target demographic when the original games came out. I understand how people can get sucked into a  game like this. It gives you a goal to achieve, gotta catch them all. And you get a sense of excitement as you get closer to that goal by catching another one or evolving one or winning battles. I get it. But people just get way too obsessed with mobile apps. It has taken over everything. I’ve seen strip clubs promoting cold beer and rare pokemon inside. What about the naked girls? Isn’t that the entire point of your existence? The only plus side for me is that now that poke-memes are taking over the internet, all of the stupid minion memes are going away. But is this really a lesser of 2 evils situation?

 

Bullshit From the News

This week’s stories gathered from the subreddit r/nottheonion

Pokemon Go is “prohibited” by Islam

According to a top Sunni Muslim official in Egypt, the obsessive nature of Pokemon GO leads people to neglect their jobs and lives in a similar way to alcohol, which is already prohibited by Islam. So I guess this makes Pokemon a sin. Nintendo must be pretty steamed that they can’t have any Sunni Muslim players. I guess they’ll just have to be happy having the entire rest of the world.

Help number on some Maine EBT cards is actually a phone sex line

It seems that some people in Maine have a typo on their EBT cards that directs them not to their balance, but to a phone sex hotline. Apparently the phone number printed on the cards was off by one digit causing what has to be the most hilarious official typo ever.
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Follow me on Twitter @odddadout
Support the “Odd Dad Out Podcast” and “Mom and Dad Cuss” at patreon.com/odddadout
Check out “What’s Happening With the NewMan” at whatshappeningwiththenewman.podbean.com