Holiday Spending Season Is Coming: ODO 124

I realized, as I started recording, that Halloween is only a week away and I don’t know what we are going to do this year. As I thought about that I started thinking about the holiday season and how Halloween kicks off the season of spending. Between Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas time, you just start purging cash at the end of October. I also reflect on how my general introversion makes me uncomfortable with holiday travel, and I have a callback to last week’s psychological breakdown.

In Recommended Listening I’ve got a super short flash fiction podcast. I’m talking about that sci-fi/ horror drama, 600 Second Saga.

For the Jackass of the Week, I’m off to Spain for some unnecessarily expensive worms.

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ODO 123

Letting The Voices Out: ODO 123

To say this show is a little random would be an understatement. I go from talking about car issues and why I missed last week, to adventures in voice acting. I get a little psycho-analytical, and somewhere in there I crack open my brain a bit and the voices in my head start leaking through. Have I mentioned normal is not my specialty? In the news I’ve got Apple “fixing” an emoji, a bunch of jealous parents, and a wannabe Texas Chainsaw Massacre who’s getting fitted for a peg leg.

 

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Never Too Tired To Talk Podcasting: ODO 122

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Super short show this week. I’ve just got that weather change low energy vibe going right now. But that doesn’t stop me from talking podcasting, and giving a quick “Cliff’s Notes” of my livestream on International Podcast Day.
I also rant a bit about the recently announced cancellation of the bankruptcy auction for Toys R Us.
And I crown Lindsay Lohan the Jackass Of The Week over her attempted kidnapping of homeless refugee children in Russia on Instagram. (more…)

ODO 121

Tackling Food Trucks Pt 3: ODO 121

Another month, another trip to the food trucks. This time, we went in with a plan and had the best, most filling trip yet. Speaking of family fun time, monster number 3 got a little bit of social media traction over a video of him watching his favorite team on BattleBots. Plus, I’ve got a Jackass Bridezilla with a big price tag, and a little chat about International Podcast Day.

 

 

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ODO 119

I Don’t Care If My Voice Is Shot: ODO 119

Hey! I’m here this week and I sound like complete crap. Long story short, I’ve been sick and my voice is shot, but I didn’t want to miss another week. That being said, it’s a shorter show. No Jackass of the Week, but I do get into what’s had me so busy recently and what I really do love about being a podcast editor. Plus I wrap up with the week’s Recommended Listening feature, Play Comics.

 

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ODO 107

ODO 107: I Don’t Need To Be Rich

The Livestream For The Cure is over and they managed to raise over $11,000 for the Cancer Research Institute. I’ve got a small sidebar about my son and coffee, and this week I came to realization that I don’t really want to be rich. The news brings some questionable headlines, an irritable barber, and an absent-minded astronaut. At long last, the time has come for this week’s Recommended Listening feature: Who’s Right w/ Doug and Anthony.

 

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Not So Big An A-Hole: ODO 36

 

Not So Big an A-Hole

   For most all of my post-high school life I have been said to be kind of an asshole. To a degree it’s been almost a point of pride. Now that I’m older I’m starting to wonder if it’s more “kind of” and less “asshole.”
     Anybody who’s familiar with my family would agree, I come from a long line of assholes. My dad is known to be a bit of an asshole. My grandfather was in politics so you know he was an asshole. I’ve heard his dad was a bit of an asshole as well. That’s not to say that we aren’t good people, but there is definitely a reigning character trait about the men in my family. Our family name has such notorious asshole cred that it has even been translated into a musical.
     Anybody familiar with “My Fair Lady” will recall that the male lead in that story is professor Higgins. Most people would chock that up to a coincidence or just needing a name for a character. That’s until you look at the guy. He’s a screaming asshole the entire time. He’s so much of a jerk that his best friend has to explain it to Eliza that it’s nothing personal, he’s just like that. The funniest part of it is that his character is a perfect example of my family and myself. He isn’t malicious. He isn’t intentionally hurtful. He’s just generally a dick to everybody. He’s rude and blunt and is for the most part abusive to everybody on some level, especially those he cares about. It’s almost as if the more he cares, the more abuse he dishes out. Oh wait, that’s exactly what it is! I know because that is a perfect description of most of the men in my family.
     Every girl I’ve ever been with, including my wife, can tell you that I show my affection through abuse. Now I’m not saying I beat my wife. I would never do something so terrible. What I mean is that a day doesn’t go by that I don’t pick on my wife about something. It’s a rare day when I don’t call her out for being short. ( She’s 4’10” for the record.) Or I will give her crap about her non-existent math skills. It’s all in good fun and not malicious. I think the key is that I don’t do it to hurt her. Her stature and math abilities are facts. I just make it a point a remind her of those facts when it is comedically useful.
     Oddly enough I’ve come to realize that I’m not the biggest asshole I know by far. This whole thought came from one of the guys at work. Of the people I currently know, he is easily the biggest asshole. He is one of those guys who has a super short fuse and will not hesitate to call you a piece of shit to your face. He doesn’t care much about people’s feelings. I believe “gives zero fucks” is the proper phrase. The difference is he’s mean in a mean way. He’s the kind of guy who says shit that makes you want to stab him in the face with a soldering iron. I know this from personal experience. ( Thank goodness for anger management.)
    Doing silly quizzes with my wife made me think to find an asshole quiz for myself. After an extensive google search, and by extensive I mean I searched “asshole quiz” and clicked the top 3 things, I’ve determined that I’m only about 40% of an asshole. Not even halfway there. I have to admit I am kind of disappointed. Here I am, a legacy asshole, and I don’t even crack 50%. Then I started to think about the questions on these things and I realized that they didn’t actually test for assholes. These quizzes, like every one of them, is actually testing for douchebags. As a card carrying asshole I am going to stand up and say that these are very different things indeed. I am most emphatically not a douchebag. What these quizzes determined was assholery was frequently hurting others for your own entertainment or a disregard for others for your own enjoyment. In a nutshell, douchebagery.
     I may be a dick, but I take no pleasure in hurting somebody. I don’t do anything to harm someone or hurt their feelings. I personally feel that is the defining line between douchebag and asshole. For a really dumb analogy, I’d say the douchebag is the unsophisticated frat boy, while the asshole is the smart-ass doctor treating him for alcohol poisoning. Another example, it’s the difference between someone telling dick jokes and someone doing intelligent humor. You have to have a certain intelligence to be an effective asshole. It takes a serious thinking mind to come up with some of the grade-A assholery from men such as Dennis Leary and Dennis Miller. Or maybe you just need to be named Dennis. Either way, if it puts me in the same category as thinkers like Miller and Leary and Lewis Black, I think I’ll just keep on being an asshole.

Bullshit From the News

It’s all behind them: ‘Butt-chugging’ fraternity returns to UT | News | utdailybeacon.com
 The Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity at the University of Tennessee is being reinstated after being booted from campus four years ago for the use of “wine enemas.” This puts stupid douchebag fratboy antics to a new level. How dumb do you have to be to think that pouring wine into a hose in your butt is a good idea?
For the second time the CDC has issued a warning that kissing your pet chickens can lead to salmonella poisoning. I realize that some people view chickens as pets, but to me they are food. Don’t kiss your very very very raw chicken dinner. It will get you sick.

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