Catching Up Around The House: ODO 138
It has been a hectic couple of weeks around the “Odd” house. Between getting sick (again) and crazy weather, I have gotten behind on some housework. Of course, the boys aren’t about to stop adding more to that list of headaches. On top of that, I’ve got a full load of “BS From the News” ranging from fake kidnappings to questionable drug testing.
Kids and Pets
It was likely forever ago, but I have mentioned before that we have quite a few animals in our house. Quickly, we have a 12 year old Dalmatian/Lab Emmit. We’ve got our cats, Toby and Fluffy (we didn’t name her.) Plus 2 fish and a tortoise. You can go ahead and give me the obligatory, “how do you keep up with all of that?” The short version is, I don’t know. But, I can say that the one thing that doesn’t help with that is having 2 preschool age boys in the house who just like to mess with stuff.
Sam loves the fish. Personally, I could drop them in a golf course water hazard and not bat an eye. He loves them so much he decided he wanted to feed them. Unfortunately, he can’t reach the fish food (which is totally on purpose.) So, he grabs the next best thing, cereal. The next thing I know, I’m waking up to all 3 of the other boys yelling at me, “Dad! Dad! Sam put Fruit Loops in the fish tank!” Now I’m jumping up to scramble and get all of this colorful mess out of the, now completely clouded, water before one of them eats it. “Fortunately” they made it out alive. The water cleared up by the next day and I don’t have to do any fishy funerals.
Unfortunately, my pet troubles are not limited to the fish. The other day, we caught one of the cats, Toby, peeing in the box that the tortoise lives in (because cats are jerks.) Of course, this is first thing in the morning, and now I have to do an emergency cleanup of the tortoise, her box, and replace all of the straw in it. Yes it’s a pain, but fine, whatever. The problem is that the next morning, IT FREAKING HAPPENS AGAIN!! This time, after getting all of the things cleaned out and changed again. I go check out the cat’s litter box and discover that our wonderful Bug has dumped a ton of water in to the litter box and effectively turned the litter into a brick. No wonder the cats were peeing in the tortoise box.
So Much Grass
We are in the transition from winter to spring here in Arizona. This means that a few weeks ago it was cold and pouring down rain, and now we’re sitting in temperatures in the mid to upper 70’s. What does this have to do with grass? Well, when you have a bunch of rain and then you have a bunch of sun, sprinkle in being too sick to get anything accomplished for a week, you have a lawn that is completely out of control. Now the front getting long and ugly I can deal with, but what really got me this week was actually seeing how bad my back yard has gotten.
I haven’t really done much of anything in my back yard in nearly 6 months. I’ll admit, it wasn’t looking great back that, but for the most part, it was still pretty barren. Not anymore. After all of this “weather” my back yard has turned in to a forest of weeds nearly 5 feet tall. I have now begun the tedious process of hacking all of this down and cleaning up, which, at this point, I still haven’t finished.
BS From The News
A New York man claims he was kidnapped by two men who he was involved in a Superbowl bet with and robbed of $16000. Unfortunately for him, police don’t buy his story. He claims he was being held for 3 days, but he was freshly shaven when police found him. He was also showing no signs of distress when they arrived. Suspiciously, the money “stolen” was supposed to be used to pay for his losses on those Superbowl bets.
In a case of, how was this not already banned, Russia has announced that they are now barring athletes from drinking alcohol during doping tests. They claim that they have experienced too many instances of rude, aggressive, intoxicated athletes causing trouble for testing staff. Apparently a post-game beer is all too common when you need to give an instant urine sample. How bout you stick with Gatorade.
Jackass Of The Week
The #1 Bridge player in the world has been suspended after testing positive for banned substances. The World Bridge Federation banned Geir Helgemo after he tested positive for synthetic testosterone. Although it is not considered a performance enhancing drug in the game of Bridge, it is banned from the “sport” as the federation is recognized by the International Olympic Committee and adheres to World Anti-Doping Agency rules.
Just a reminder: this is a card game. But somehow their league has Olympic recognition and follows world anti-doping rules for professional sports. Let’s hope they don’t crack down on the amateur bridge games. Esther and Gretchen are gonna get fined for having one too many gin and tonics on Tuesday night.
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